The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

Guys...if you take my advice given earlier about "pre-shopping" online, make sure you look for the "online only" tags. Needless to say, my plans got shot down early on, and I did wander aimlessly throughout Greenbrier Mall. However, I had already cemented in my cranium the "theme" and I believe that I found gifts that are absolutely perfect for Cindy. 

Twas The Week Before Christmas...

When it comes to giving Christmas gifts, I do not like shopping for my wife using a list. For me, the list seems to start way back in September when I get questions from my mom, "so, make sure you let me know what Cindy wants for Christmas." When we were younger, I use to disguise the fact that I was collecting items for a list. Fast forward fourteen years, and it is almost blunt to the point of flat our asking.

The list is a safety net. I am not as worried about getting her a gift that she wants as much as I am about getting her a gift that she simply does not like. That fear starts to drive me towards simplicity, which might be reflected in the form of a gift card, or worse, cash. That way, she can get what she wants, right? Each December, I stand, like a deer caught in the headlights, frozen by fear that my gift will be rejected.

But, that misses the point of giving a gift.

This year, I am ditching the list, and I am trying a new approach, a set of guidelines.

1. No Clothing - I must remember that I have the worst taste in clothing. If you catch me wearing something that looks decent, just remember, my wife picked that out. Clothing is a sure fire way to having a gift returned.

2. Bath and Body Works - This year, I pledge not to buy anything from this store. Not that there is anything wrong with this store, but just give it a rest this year.

3. No Yankee Candles - This is similar to the B&BW above. I love Yankee Candles, but, this perennial gift will not make it under the tree this year.

4. Prepare before Shopping - Here is where I usually fail. I drive to the local mall and wandering into and out of stores looking for Christmas Inspiration (which usually ends up with a trip to Bath and Body Works and an Ice Cream from Kohr's Brothers). I feel like a zombie from the Romero movie and I loose all focus. Each of the anchor stores have an online store. This year, I will "wander" the virtual stores in the comfort of my own home.

5. Durability and Usability - A gift needs to pass the D&U test. Many gifts that are neither Durable or Usable become items that collect dust. This is not to say that the gift has to be utilitarian in nature, it just means that I am not going to buy something that I know is junk from Bed Bath and Beyond.

6. Appeal to her inner Child - When it comes to Christmas, everyone wants to feel like a kid again. Sure, the food processor is neat, but, a board game that brings everyone away from the TV is a whole lot neater.

7. Who is She - This guideline can really paralyze a guy: he will get caught up trying to find that gift that screams "My Wife's Name" that he does something stupid (like buying a mop or a car). My wife is a natural entertainer. Whether it is with her Violin or as a host, she really sparkles when she entertains. Just think about what causes your wife to Sparkle and there she is.

8. Non-Tangible Gifts - This guideline is for the big day itself. I think Christmas day is best spent in sweat pants and t-shirts, but my wife likes to dress up. While I like to sit down and play with the Kid's Toys, watch a movie, play video games or eat tons of cheese and summer sausage, Cindy is preparing the Christmas Feast.

Guys, here is a secret that fourteen years of marriage has taught me. It is a powerful tool, so use it wisely. It is sure fire, and never once has it failed me. These four simple words could turn out being the best gift of the year. Through out the day, come up to your spouse, look her in the eyes and speak, so that only the two of you can hear, these words: "How can I help?"

There you have it. These are my guidelines for this year. Odd that it looks sorta like a list, and doesn't replace the fact that I have had two Fridays off and it is one week before Christmas and I still have not gone out to shop. But, I spent yesterday preparing and I think I have several ideas to choose from.

Merry Christmas.

Redeeming Netflix Flaps

So far, I have redeemed four Netflix Flaps at Blockbuster. Try saying NetFlix Flaps four times fast.

Flap 1: Planes, Trains and Automobiles: Actually, I went for Three Amigos because I needed something that was both Dumb and Funny. The young man at the counter informed me they no longer carried it for rent, but, I could purchase the film. Of course, that would have defeated that whole "free" theme I was going for by using the Netflix Flaps. I had not seen PTA in many years, and it fit 1/2 of the bill just fine: Funny.

Flap 2: Office Space: Cindy has never seen this movie. Her response was very much the same as she usually has after reading a Dilbert comic. Which is to say, although she appreciates that I find it funny, for her...not so much.

Flap 3: Superman Returns: I still like this film. I appreciate the corny references to the original film. I like how they scale Supes up to items that are much larger than himself to display his power. I did not like the whole Kid thread.

Flap 4: Elf: I am sure that if there were to be a current day equivalent to A Christmas Story this would not be it. However, except for the last fifteen minutes of this film, I still laughed it up.

So, I have one flap left. I have considered renting Rocky, but, I am not sure.

Mad Ibexes

This morning, my daughter Katie was watching me play Battlefield 2142. My Team as backed up against the wall, I was just trying to make a desperate attempt to grab a back flag. I hopped into a jeep and speed to a location as far away as possible. Just as I was about to get into a more "durable" vehicle, my computer locked up.

Katie patted me on the shoulder and offered these words of comfort:

"Dad, don't worry that happens to me from time to time. Once, I was playing Zoo Tycoon and I had a pen with two Ibexes. I accidentally hit the moon button on the keyboard. Later, I came back later, and I had a pen full of angry Ibexes."

Playing Church

This week, I used the phrase "playing church" when someone described how one of their relatives bounced between the Catholic and Lutheran church. Inside, it made me smile, because, just that morning, I had been reading about Luther and Calvin. I am sure that if the relative had a historical perspective, then they might also see how odd those choices are. However, I just made the comment that they are simply "playing church."

Matthew 3:12, the John the Baptist describes a threshing room floor, covered with wheat and all the bits of that has fallen of the wheat stalks. In this picture, Jesus is standing in the threshing room and is holding a fan that is causing the wheat and the chaff to separate. The wheat is gathered and placed inside the grainery and the chaff is burned away.

Just so that we are clear on the symbolism here: The floor is the church and only two kinds of people go to church - Wheat People and Chaff People. Chaff People think they are good with God because they go to church, live decent lives and are good citizens. However, one day, the Wheat People will be physically separated from the Chaff People.

Many times, I feel that I am eternally secure because I belong to a church. Odd that I would think that, eh? It's not a conscious thing that I think, but, my actions tell on me. You see, I have gotten the horse before the cart so to speak. My focus has shifted ever so slightly from Jesus over to a building. It seems natural: I do not physically see Jesus day to day, but, I see my church several times a week. My mind becomes focused on the here and now. My mind becomes focused on the work. And sometimes, I just go on auto-pilot. I show up, pull out my trombone and just play. No worship, just notes, intonation and rhythms. So, who is playing church now?

Ga 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Redeem Netflix Flaps for Blockbuster Movies

I saw this last week, but forgot to post. If you are a Netflix subscriber, you can take the flap of your Netflix Mailer (the part you throw away) and redeem it for a movie rental at Blockbuster video. This offer is good through 12/21/2006.

Netflix subscribers who wish to participate in the program can tear off the address flaps they normally discard when mailing back their DVDs and turn them in at any participating Blockbuster store to receive a free in-store movie rental. They can continue to bring in their envelope flaps and exchange them for free in-store rentals for the duration of the promotion. Netflix customers do not need to subscribe to Blockbuster's online program to participate. To utilize the free store rentals, Netflix customers do need to have a Blockbuster store membership, which they can sign up for on the spot. Store membership is free.

So, go out and get that free movie...

Me and My Gal

All dressed up and ready for the Christmas Party! 

Budgeted

For years, I have always budgeted money to pay bills, but, there was that part of my income that always seemed to disappear in the nebulous "Miscellaneous" category. I have played a game of see-saw with my credit card by running it up and paying it down, running it up and paying it down.

That's when I discovered a radio talk show host named Dave Ramsey and his "Total Money Makeover" Book. There is absolutely no "get rich quick" scheme, but, he doles out a hefty amount of common sense. He draws on his experience of having gone bankrupt to tell you the things that we do that lead down that road.

The Total Money Makeover is divided into a series of Baby Steps.

• Step 1 : get a $1000 emergency fund. Stop using credit.
• Step 2 : pay off all of your debts, except for your mortgage. Pay off the smallest first while paying minimum on the remaining. As you pay off one debt, start tackling the next. If you have to use your emergency fund, stop BS2 and go back to BS1.
• Step 3 : Fully Fund your emergency fund to 3 to 6 month of expenses (not income).
• Step 4 : Invest 15% to retirements. Earlier, he has suggested that you stop all investments until you get to this step. The most important tool you have to getting out of debt is your income, and you are going to need all of it to get back to this step.
• Step 5 : Invest in your kids college fund
• Step 6 : Pay off your Mortgage

Printed at the bottom of each page is the quote "Live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else." December makes the second month that Cindy and I have allocated every dollar in my take home pay to a category. We ended up in November with a budget surplus (which went to Chase Manhattan) because we did not spend everything we had categorized.

Also, there is the angle about being a good steward of the money that God has given to us. I don't consider myself a steward of 10% of my income, but rather all of it. I am learning some common sense skills about money that is helping me to be a better steward. In turn, I am turning into a better giver.

The Nativity

Aint it Cool News posted their review of The Nativity. The movie was panned, commenting that most Christian movies are generally bad. In the past few years, I have seen several "Christian" films including Left Behind, The Passion of the Christ, End of the Spear, Luther and most recently Facing the Giants. Of those films, I thought that Left Behind was pretty bad, Passion of the Christ overrated. However, Luther, End of the Spear and Facing the Giants were very enjoyable, and had very real applications to my Christian walk.

End of the Spear showed me a picture of what it is like to truly forgive another person. We speak about how God forgives us but when it comes to us forgiving other people, we tend to not model our God. Forgiveness isn't always easy, and End of the Spear uses an extreme situation to make this point. Is the acting the best? No. Is the cinematography academy award winning? No, but the story is fantastic.

Luther was incredible because I had never really connected all of the dots to how important translating the Bible from Latin to a common tongue (in this case, German) was in Church History.

Facing the Giants is another movie that made it to the local cineplex, but still felt like one of the New Line pictures from the eighties. However, like Spear, the story is honest. It also takes an extreme situation and shows God at work. Sure, on one hand it is convenient that everything works out ok (this doesn't happen too much for me), but it drives home the point: nothing is too big for God. Also, the film makes heavy use of non-actors. Sometimes this is painfully obvious, but once I got past that, I really believed them.

Finally, Passion of the Christ. Most of the "Talk Backers" on Aint it Cool News site held this film as the "Gold Standard" in "Christian" movie making. Others called it a snuff film. I thought that, while it contained some very powerful images, and made the crucifixion real, it was overrated. I have tried to watch it again, but have never made it through.

So, if you are so inclined to, throw these movies on your Netflix queue. Pop some corn, get the beverage of your choice and enjoy.

Tuesday

For some reason, lately, I have been waking up around four in the morning. I wonder if, perhaps, I am in a suspense movie wherein the main character wakes up at the same time just prior to some horrific event.

Or, it could be LJ's fault for getting me hooked onto "A Song of Ice and Fire," George R. R. Martin's Epic fantasy that when all is said and done will span seven books. I have just finished "A Game of Thrones" and am almost two hundred pages into the second. Personally, I think LJ knew I needed something other than .NET periodicals to read in my free time, and I appreciate that. I find myself grabbing the book to find out what happens next.

Maybe, my restlessness is caused by worries at work. As my company has grown, I have been given more "manager-like" duties. I feel responsible for more projects and employees and consultants than I ever have before (besides my days Assistant Managing at the Ye Olde Blockbuster). Even though this may be cliche, the hardest part is delegating. I never understood why it would be so hard until now: it's like admitting you can not do a task, not because it is hard, but, because you no longer have as much time to devote to that task.

However, I think that the reason I woke up so early this morning was due to the shipment from Coffee Whiz that I received yesterday. My shipment included Mocha Java, Winter Carnival, Perfectly Pumpkin, German Chocolate Cake and Holiday Blend. Last night, I had a cup of Winter Carnival, perhaps not a good idea. I have just finished a cup of German Chocolate Cake and am enjoying the slight aftertaste of coconut. I am spoiling myself with the Keuring K-cup system.

Almost Turkey Day

Well, after some of the more serious topic post of late, it is time to turn onto one of my favorite holidays of the year: Thanksgiving. For the past six years, the Gang and I hop into the car and travel down to spend Wednesday night and Thanksgiving Day with my Grandmother Morton in Myrtle Beach, SC. My Grandmother's house is the same house that her dad and brothers built way back in 19**. She will never tell me the exact date. Hmm. Mom and Dad join us on the big day. Between Parades, Football, Eating and Uno marathons, Cindy and I let our belts out a notch and go catch a movie down in Myrtle Beach. I think this year, I might give up and just wear sweats. I would like to go see the new Bond flick, but Cindy is leading more towards "Stranger than Fiction." On Friday, we cross over to Columbia and on Saturday we take a day trip over to Evans Georgia to visit my Grandmother Bryan. Hopefully, I will be able to catch some of the Carolina - Clemson game. It would be great to close the season with a win. We have come soooo close against big teams. We need to win this one. Finally, on Sunday, we repack the car and head back to Chesapeake.

Who Me?

I was asked my opinion about a pastor's secret life which had recently been exposed. I was not familiar with all of the details, but we tossed the topic back and fourth. The hardest question that we stumbled into was: does someone choose to be homosexual, or is it simply biological, perhaps even in the same manner that a person is heterosexual? My reflexive answer was "it's a choice," but something about that answer seemed too quick, too easy and maybe too patented. The real question should have been "does God consider homosexuality sinful?"

This question has to be approached with some care. Because if we were to agree that God views homosexuality as sinful, we then have to examine our own lives. Have we become comfortable with any habitual sin? Would parting with it be too hard? Does God have different categories of sin like a McDonald's value meal (small, medium, large and super size)? If so, then my sin definitely is not super sized! Perhaps we have reasoned that we can continue in our sin because God has promised to always forgive a Christian's sin (1 Jo 1:9; Ro 6:1)? Maybe we deceive ourselves into thinking that we simply just do not sin because we have Christ (1 Jo 1:8).

Shining the lights on others is easy. Focusing that same light back on us...well, perhaps not so much.

The Rapture

I have to admit, that I find it difficult to keep the Rapture in the fore front of my mind. Christ spoke of his return some 2000 years ago, and we have been anticipating it ever since. I often feel as though I will be one of the "dead in Christ" at his return and will be called up to meet him in the air. I do not pray, like John, for him to come quickly. And, to tip my hat over to the Good Coffee site, my attitude reflects the way that I relate to those who are without Christ. If I had been given a date and a time, how much harder would I try? How fervent would my prayers be for my "lost" friends!

Has Anyone Seen My Netflix Disc?

I was really anticipating Disc 6 of the first season of House. Imagine my surprise when all that arrived in a hermetically sealed bag was the outer flap that you rip off and discard.

Acceptable

I came across this trailer for the upcoming film Death of a President, which tells the story of the fictional assassination of the president Bush. I have learned quite a bit this year about my beliefs, be them about politics or about faith. I have learned that if I fundamentally disagree with a fictional account about how the second century church fabricated what we know today about Christianity I will be told "It's only Fiction!" This film tells me that, apparently, it is ok to take any current political figure and create a snuff film about their assassination. It is abhorrent to me, but possibly it is pure candy to others who so viciously hate a man they have never met. But remember, say it with me, "It's only Fiction!"

Censorship is not the answer. It should not have to be. There was a time when a film about the assassination of a standing president would be unacceptable. When I was in the Air Force, I believed that I could tell my superiors anything as long as I proceeded it with "With All Due Respect." Turns out, you can't. And in the same vein, just because you tell me it's fiction, does not mean I have to find it acceptable.

Ouch!

Boy, talk about the night you did not know was coming. After mowing the front lawn (oh, btw...the grass project is coming along great), I went up to take a shower. Megan and Cindy had left to go shopping, and Katie was downstairs. I was leaning over to pull my T-shirt off and started to straighten up. I must have done it too quickly because my arms was still pulling the shirt off as my head was coming up. Let's just say that the pain was intense. Three and a half hours later I am home from the hospital. It doesn't look like a pinched nerve, but a whole lot of muscle spasm going on. Either way, the medication is taking the edge off.

Reunion

Like any good football game, our 20th high school reunion had it's tailgate party at the abode of Mr. and Mrs. Nicholson. I couldn't believe how many of us were able to attend: George, Alan, Rick, Jay, Chris, Todd and Robert. I really regret that I did not bring Cindy along with me. As part of her birthday presents, I took the kids with me to South Carolina and gave her a weekend off. But I missed sharing this part of my past with her. These guys were an important part of my life, and they stood beside when my sister died. We participated together in all night movie marathons, bad cigars and acts of teenage goofiness, lovingly referred to as ploys. It seems that the only thing that has really changed in the past twenty years is our age: we are basically the same personalities. I enjoyed meeting the guys' wives; I think everyone would have enjoyed meeting Cindy. Next time. Each one of us has, apparently, married way out of our league.

The main event, held at the Columbia Convention Center, was very well put together. Kudos to Mindy, Jeff and anyone else who was responsible for bringing it all together. My only suggestion for next time: pre-printed name tags - with the ladies' maiden name printed first (as that is how we knew them). As the night went on, I felt awkward trying to read names, because I had a real hard time recalling faces. But once I was able to connect the two together, they were transformed back twenty years, and memories of classes taken together came back.

Zestos

If you have lived in West Columbia, or in neighboring communities, you know all about Zestos in Triangle City. Today, I had the joy of passing it along to Katie and Megan. I enjoyed my chicken, and they had their hot dogs and, of course, ice cream cone. I had not been inside Zestos since I left Columbia in 1992, and it instantly brought back memories of high school. Sorta appropriate, as I am in Columbia today for my 20th High School reunion. Prior to the "official" gathering, many of my pals will be getting together for a social hour. This is going to be a blast.

Horsing Around

Katie, my nine year old, is absolutely in love with horses. She has been taking riding lessons, and, besides video games, this is something that she is serious about. When she started, I could not tell you the differences between a trot, a canter or a gallop, but I have come to appreciate the communication that goes on between horse and rider to switch into these different gears. Yesterday, Katie cantered for the first time. It was a big moment because the canter is the fastest gait that she has ridden. Her foot came out of the stirrup when she transitioned back to the trot, and she slid out of the saddle, but she landed on both feet. She gave a big hi-five and a smile to her trainer, Ms. Sara Lee. Way to go, Idaho!

Settling for Mediocrity

"I don't think we need to settle for being a mediocre bunch, although at times we look like that -- most of the time really." Steve Spurrier

Coach Spurrier made this comment about his University of South Carolina Gamecocks, but something about it rung true for me. Isn't it easy to settle for mediocrity? Being mediocre is a safe place to just cruise along and not necessarily get worse, but also not get any better. I can see, in my life, how I often settle for being mediocre in my job, with my family and with my God. Perhaps the effort to remain mediocre is just more appealing than the effort of going the extra mile. It definitely is easier to remain the same rather than change. Maybe I am just getting older?